


Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?

by Nemi_Almasy



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Found Family, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Introspection, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:27:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26381863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nemi_Almasy/pseuds/Nemi_Almasy
Summary: Geostigma has been cured and the future is suddenly open and uncertain for Rufus and Tseng. For years they were co-conspirators, then lovers, but in the aftermath of all they've been through, Rufus questions whether Tseng truly loves him or simply doesn't know anything different. Tseng leaves on a journey of introspection, determined to piece apart which parts of him still exist outside of his role as a Turk. Along the way he finds friendship in unexpected places, and discovers that family isn't always something you're born into.
Relationships: Rufus Shinra/Tseng
Comments: 14
Kudos: 64





	Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?

No one expected the cure to come as suddenly as it did.

The Turks had spent two arduous years helping Rufus search for a treatment, living amongst the sick, watching geostigma claim another life every day. How many countless nights had Tseng spent by Rufus’ bedside watching him suffer? He was the only one who had seen Rufus Shinra bleed or cry, though so many claimed he could do neither. Tseng knew the truth, curled against his ever-thinning frame, holding him as he wept. And all the while he refused medicine to help the pain, knowing it was in limited supply, wishing to save it for the others. Tseng had never been an optimistic man and though he hoped beyond hope for some sort of miracle, he had come to terms with losing the man he loved.

How many nights had Elena lost sleep overseeing the research? How many days had Reno and Rude taken over for Tseng so he could collapse from exhaustion for a few hours? Two years of struggle and one day a healing rain came and washed it all away.

 _Her_ healing rain. Tseng felt it to his very core. He had failed to save Aerith and that guilt had haunted him, but in the end she had saved them all.

The aftermath of the healing rain was a chasm of uncertainty.

There was celebration, subdued though it was by Rufus’ weakened state and the knowledge that their efforts were no longer needed. Tseng was filled with a sense of relief muted by the creeping realization that, after coming to term with Rufus’ death, he didn’t really know what their future was meant to look like now that he had survived.

They lay together the night after the healing rain, both a little drunk thanks to the sake Reno managed to procure, a tension between them the likes of which Tseng had never felt.

“Tseng?” Rufus said, brushing the bridge of Tseng’s nose with his finger.

Tseng closed his eyes, “Yes?”

“What now?”

“Whatever you want,” said Tseng, realizing there was more weight to the question than he was acknowledging.

He was drowsy from the drinks and he’d never enjoyed confrontation when it came to their relationship. What they had together was mostly left unsaid - more than a decade shared between them, but it hadn’t been as long since they crossed the line from co-conspirators to lovers. _That_ had only happened just before Sephiroth reemerged and the entire planet was plunged into chaos. In retrospect, they had never had time to discuss the way their relationship had evolved since then, but it was obviously more serious than the two of them fucking around. Tseng had been Rufus’ constant caretaker for the last two years.

Rufus traced his hand along the length of the upraised flesh where Sephiroth had left a lasting scar that nearly took Tseng’s life.

“I know what I want. It’s you I’m worried about.”

Tseng opened his eyes. “Rufus?”

There was a prolonged silence while Rufus held his gaze. “Do you love me, Tseng?”

Those words had never been exchanged between them. Tseng had tried to tell him once, on a particularly terrible night when, for the first time in many years, Tseng began to cry. The thought of losing him had coiled around his heart until it was unbearable and he began to say those words, but Rufus stopped him.

‘Don’t say it while I’m dying…tell me again when I survive.’

So neither of them had ever said it, though Tseng was certain he felt it.

Now that Rufus was asking him point blank, he had a harder time saying out loud. He loved Rufus, but he was uncertain whether that love was one of devotion or necessity. Rufus and the other Turks were all that Tseng had left in the world. He had spent so much of his life as Tseng the Turk that he didn’t know who he was outside of it, or how to exist outside of the structure that Shinra provided - even in its now considerably limited capacity.

“I want you to be able to say it and mean it,” Rufus said.

“Rufus…I-”

“I think you and the others should leave for a while.” The words struck like a lance through Tseng’s heart. He opened his mouth to protest, but Rufus shook his head. “Let me finish. I mean it when I say I wouldn’t still be here without the four of you…without you especially.” He curled his fingers around Tseng’s hand and pressed it against his chest. “But if we’re going to rebuild Shinra…the way I want to, without my father’s influence, then I want you all here because you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it’s what you want. You stayed before because there was an immediate threat and we all felt that burden, but now-”

“Rufus, please,” Tseng sighed.

“It’s not forever,” said Rufus, letting go of Tseng’s hand and rolling onto his back. “Just take some time. Please. We both need it. If you don’t come back, I’ll understand. But if you do…then we’ll both know it was because we _want_ to be together, not just because we need to.”

The thought made Tseng sick, not least of all because he was so afraid of introspection after years of boxing up his emotions. He had been at Rufus’ side for so long, and had been doing Shinra’s bidding for far longer than that.

Deep down, he knew Rufus was right. If he stayed now, there would forever be a nagging question in the back of his mind: do I really want this, or am I simply complacent?

“You deserve to be happy,” Rufus said.

Tseng wasn’t so sure.

* * *

The day after the healing rain, Rufus confronted all four of them. The others took it far better than Tseng had. Reno and Rude referred to it as a well-deserved extended vacation.

‘We’ll be back at some point. Can’t rely on a Shinra to get anything done by himself after all. _Someone’s_ gotta get their hands a little dirty for you.’

Elena had been a bit more stoic, but she accepted the request all the same. If anyone needed the time away, Tseng thought, it was Elena, who had thrown herself so heavily into work and hardened herself so thoroughly to the outside world that Tseng now saw too much of himself in her. No one deserved that fate.

When they were gone, Tseng remained, kneeling before Rufus’ wheelchair with their hands clasped together.

“You still need medical care. You’ll need physical therapy and-”

“I’m a wealthy man with many resources, Tseng. I promise I can take care of myself for a while.”

Tseng desperately didn’t want to say goodbye. He knew it was because a part of him worried that once he left, he wouldn’t _want_ to return.

“Who will protect you? There are still people who-”

“I’ve worked out an arrangement with Cloud Strife.”

Tseng balked. “What?”

“He’s accepted my offer of temporary employment. You’re right, of course. I’m in no state to protect myself. Cloud wanted to take some time away from his delivery service, so he could remain close to home. I trust he’ll be suitable as a bodyguard. I don’t need an intelligence officer for the moment, I just need a little muscle to keep me safe.”

Tseng would not admit aloud that he was hurt he had not been involved in the negotiation. He had been responsible for helping Rufus to organize all of Shinra’s affairs since Rufus became ill.

“Of course.” Tseng let go of Rufus’ hands and stood up. “Is it…?” He struggled to find the words. “Would it be okay if I still contact you from time to time? I just want to know you’re okay.”

“Yes. I’d like to know you’re okay too.”

They held each other’s gaze for a moment, a terrible longing between them, though they both knew this was a necessary step for them to take. Tseng leaned down and pressed his lips against Rufus’, holding the kiss for as long as he could bear and breaking away with misty eyes.

“Goodbye, Rufus.”

“Goodbye, Tseng.”

* * *

The question of where to go now that Tseng was his own agent was one of exclusion. He had no interest in wasting his time in Edge, which would undoubtedly become Rufus Shinra’s playground. The original plans for the city had been his and Tseng knew it would not be long before Rufus used his money and influence to guide the future direction of construction.

There were plenty of other places Tseng also preferred to avoid: Nibelheim, for a multitude of reasons; the entire Northern continent; the islands of Mideel, where he had spent the first fifteen years of his life.

In the end, he decided on Wutai.

In truth, he had never been. His father was born there, had spent most of his life there before leaving for medical school, and while his father had imparted the importance of his culture onto his children, Tseng had always felt disconnected from it - though he had endured the racial slights and assumptions placed on him as a Wutaian despite that disconnect.

If not now then when? Though much of Wutai and the planet at large had been damaged and disrupted by the lifestream’s emergence two years earlier, there would still be plenty of the important cultural sites for him to explore.

He no longer had Shinra’s helicopters at his disposal to quickly get him from point A to point B, so he decided that if he was going to take the time to get himself all the way across the planet to Wutai, he may as well plan a little sight-seeing in between.

First, he procured a motorcycle using one of the many contacts he had made in Edge during his work over the last two years. It wasn’t the nicest or fastest machine in the world, but it was able to run on solar power, something hard to come by despite the ever-growing need to shift away from mako energy. The motorcycle got him down the coast to Junon, where he booked a charter ship across the sea.

His first night away was unbearably lonely. The air in his cramped cabin was stale and heavy and, unable to sleep, he drifted up above deck and stood for some time leaning against the railing and staring out at the horizon. Stuck there in the middle of the sea, surrounded on all sides by water, the stars bright and visible so far from civilization, Tseng felt horribly small. In the grand scheme of so much space and time, what was he to the planet? To anyone?

His heart ached for Rufus to the point of physical pain.

When was the last time he spent a night alone?

Tseng wasn’t the only one out on the deck at that hour. Some had come to stargaze, others sat at tables enjoying a nightcap. He heard the footsteps and saw the movement long before the person approaching him spoke - would he ever be able to turn off his constant sense of awareness? It had been a necessity as a Turk, but here on a boat in the middle of the sea in his plainclothes with nothing to tie him to Shinra, what danger was he really in?

“Couldn’t sleep either, huh?”

Tseng glanced to his right where a woman stood with her back against the gunwale observing him. She was pretty in an understated way, with large green eyes that made him think of Aerith. That thought, too, made Tseng’s heart ache.

Small talk had never been his forte, and for most of his career it had never been a necessity. Now he was just a civilian and he recognized it would be exceedingly rude to ignore this woman.

“No,” he answered far too stiffly.

“Boats make me a little nauseous,” she said. “Don’t worry though, I won’t throw up on you or anything,” she laughed and Tseng forced himself to smile in return.

“They make medicine for nausea,” he said, realizing as soon as the words were out of his mouth that it sounded neither friendly nor all that helpful.

The woman stared at him for a moment. “Yeah. Medicine’s still kinda hard to come by. Getting better now that they’re getting this solar power thing figured out.”

Another effort funded by Rufus. The whole world still hated him, by and large, but it was his father who had put the planet in its current state. All Rufus had done from the moment he took office was try to fix his father’s mistakes. If not for him, the planet would be in shambles.

Why couldn’t Tseng go five minutes without thinking about Rufus?

“So,” the woman continued. “You headed to Costa or going somewhere else?”

“I might spend a few days there,” Tseng answered. He had never been good at giving up much information about himself, but he was good at asking in return, mostly because conversation of any sort was not so different than interrogation. When he posited this theory to Reno, Reno had laughed loudly and said ‘man, you need to get out more’. Tseng smiled at the thought. It wasn’t only Rufus that he missed. “What about you?”

“I’m headed out to North Corel. They’ve been tearing down the Gold Saucer and they’re re-purposing the materials to build up the town. Everyone says the WRO is hiring up a lot of the miners to build a solar farm in the desert. I’m going to help with the efforts.”

Tseng had heard the rumors about the Gold Saucer, but barring immediate measures in Edge, he had been instructed to let Reeve tend to his own business. Rufus didn’t care about the gaudy amusement park his father had built. ‘Let the people reclaim it if that’s what they want.’

“An admirable task,” Tseng said.

“Ha, maybe,” the woman moved a little closer. “Just needed to get out of Junon. I’ve had my fill of big cities. Don’t know if the planet’s done being angry either. Guess I’d rather be far away from the epicenter this time.”

That thought gnawed at Tseng too. No one really knew if the effects of the healing rain were permanent. Was geostigma gone forever or would it return? With Sephiroth finally gone and the last remnants of Jenova supposedly wiped from the lifestream, Tseng hoped the nightmare was over, but if the planet was still angry he could understand.

“Where you headed after Costa, then?” The woman asked after a momentary silence.

Why did she care? Of course, he knew some people were just curious, and in the aftermath of Meteorfall and thousands of subsequent geostigma deaths, many people were lonely.

Wasn’t _Tseng_ lonely, after all?

“Rocket Town. Then Wutai.”

The woman whistled, “Wow. Long trip ahead of you. How you plan on crossing the Nibel Mountains?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I guess I’ll figure it out when I get there.”

“Living in the moment, huh? Guess you gotta these days.” She laughed again. “Well, I guess maybe I’ll head back down to my cabin. Good luck on your trip.”

Tseng nodded. “You too.”

The trip across the sea took two days, but Tseng didn’t run into the woman again. He spent his time alone on deck, reading books he had always enjoyed but had little time for in the last few years. He thought of Rufus and the others too often and every time he tried to keep his mind occupied, it strayed back to them.

He had never enjoyed Costa del Sol, assigned to both Rufus and his father’s detail for many of their trips there. The sun was oppressively hot without the frequent rains that Mideel had to mitigate its unbearable intensity. Once he arrived, he tried a few hours resting on the beach, but his skin was pale from so much time spent indoors looking after Rufus and even with sunscreen he burned easily. He was simply not cut out for life at a coastal resort.

An old acquaintance lived in Costa del Sol, one he had not seen since Meteorfall, so Tseng decided to pay him a visit. Tseng himself wouldn’t have enjoyed an unexpected drop-in from his former colleague, but he recognized he was perhaps unique in his distaste for most company. He would just have to get better at it.

His former colleague lived in a little bungalow right on the beach and it took several seconds after he knocked for the door to swing open, a tall, lanky figure standing in the doorway wearing nothing but swim trunks and a pair of sunglasses. A cigar dangling from his mouth fell to the floor as he gaped at Tseng.

“Tseng? Man, you’re still kicking?” He smacked Tseng so hard on the shoulder that he stumbled forward. “What’re you doin’ here, man?”

“Legend-”

“Ah, man don’t call me that. Mick is fine, right? You want to come in?”

Tseng straightened his posture. “Just for a few minutes.”

Mick waved a dismissive hand and gestured for Tseng to follow him inside. The bungalow was cozy and surprisingly clean - when Mick had been a Turk, his desk had always been a mess, and he had never been one for organization despite his excellent attention to detail in his job.

“So what brings you here?” he asked, leading them out to a veranda with two reclining chairs facing the ocean. Tseng was thankful for the shade.

“I guess you could say I’m on vacation,” Tseng explained.

Mick laughed loudly. “Vacation? You barely took time off when Sephiroth cut you open. I saw you hobbling around Midgar with that cane barking orders at people during Meteorfall.” He looked Tseng up and down and raised his eyebrows. “Never seen you outside of a suit either, man.”

“A suit isn’t very utilitarian,” Tseng said. “Besides, I’d rather not draw attention to myself right now.”

“Hard to do with a face like that.”

Tseng’s ears warmed. Mick had always been a relentless flirt.

“So, how’s Reno and Rude? And Emma’s little sister…what was her name?” He snapped his fingers. “Ellie? Ella?”

“Elena. They’re fine. Also on vacation.” Tseng didn’t particularly feel like going into the detail about the reality of his current situation. He was trying his best not to think about Rufus.

“You stickin’ around Costa for long?” Mick asked, lighting a new cigar and holding it downwind of Tseng. “We could have some fun. I know a few guys might be right up your alley.”

“I’ll have to pass. I just thought I’d drop in while I was here. Have you talked to any of the others?”

“Not a ton. You heard about Balto though, right?”

“No.” Apart from Veld, Tseng hadn’t had much contact with the former Turks since they reunited to assist in the evacuation efforts during Meteorfall.

Mick sighed, “Stigma got him. Just a few days before that magic rain or whatever the hell it was. Though I don’t know how much good it would have done him anyway. Poor guy.”

Tseng stared out at the sea and tempered his emotions, not that he had ever been close with Balto, even when they still worked together. It was more the realization that Rufus himself had been shockingly close to death’s door. What if the rain had taken another month or more? Rufus wouldn’t have made it. He was so thin already, so much of his body covered with the stigma.

Tseng’s vision clouded and he realized there were tears in his eyes. He blinked them away, but it didn’t escape Mick’s notice.

“You okay, man?”

“Fine,” Tseng lied. “I should probably go.”

“No, no. Come on, stay awhile. I’ll grab us some beers. We’ll talk about something cheerier, alright?”

For the first time in a very long time, Tseng had nowhere to be and nothing to do, so he stayed and drank with Mick far longer than he intended to, though Mick was good at keeping the mood light and more than once Tseng found himself laughing at a story he told. He was pleasantly tipsy when he wandered back to his hotel and fell asleep and for a few hours, if only that, he didn’t think of Rufus at all.

* * *

After three days in Costa del Sol, mostly spent with Mick, Tseng headed west on his motorcycle with a pack full of supplies and no concrete plans in mind between Costa and Nibelheim. Although he set out with the intention of avoiding Nibelheim entirely, he realized while mapping out his route that it was a necessity to get to Rocket Town. Whether or not he would stop and explore the town was another matter entirely.

It would take him days, if not weeks, to reach Nibelheim on his motorcycle anyway. A lifetime spent meticulously planning his every move and now he was forced to live in the moment and make decisions as he went.

He didn’t particularly like it.

Two weeks after he left Healen, he found himself stuck inside his tent all day in the middle of a forest halfway between Costa and Nibelheim while rain pelted down from all sides. For a while he read, then he napped, then his tent ripped from the force of the wind and he was forced to fix it with a very shoddy looking patch.

When there was nothing left to do, he pulled his phone out and opened a new message screen. For several seconds he stared at it, struggling with what to say.

Some days had been better than others during the last couple of weeks. Some days, he was able to enjoy the lush green scenery of the countryside, stop in a small town and enjoy a hearty meal and pick up bits and pieces of conversation from the locals, and otherwise keep his mind occupied. Other days, he was so horribly lonely, aching with a longing so extreme he thought it would kill him.

“On my way to Nibelheim. Hope you are well. -Tseng.”

He typed the message out, almost hit send, then deleted it.

“’Hope you are well’?” He chided himself. This was a man he had taken care of for the last two years. Besides that, it seemed a little aloof and insincere to type ‘hope you are well’ to a man whose mouth had been around his cock a thousand times. ‘Hope you are well, thinking of the time I fucked you so hard I pulled a muscle in my back’. Tseng snorted and reconsidered the message.

“Heading to Nibelheim. I miss you.”

No. That wouldn’t work either. Tseng didn’t want to be a burden to Rufus.

“Heading to Nibelheim. How’s recovery?”

Fine. That would do. He sent the message before he could over think it any further and leaned back against his sleeping bag. He didn’t enjoy camping and had never been overly fond of the outdoors. The fact that his tent was now slightly damp because of the temporary hole in the side wasn’t helping things.

His phone buzzed and he picked it up far too quickly.

“Nibelheim? Recovery is fine. Muscles are sore. Didn’t know I had any left.”

Tseng knew Rufus struggled with the way his body looked due to the stigma. He had always been vain, but also open about his vanity as well. When they first started sleeping together, Rufus had been all lean muscle - the most beautiful body Tseng had ever seen. He could never take in enough of it at once. The stigma had eaten away at his muscles until he was little more than skin and bones. It never bothered Tseng, except to hate that the disease was slowly killing him, but Rufus often spent time staring at his naked body in the mirror with a furrowed brow. The blast from the Weapon had left his back covered in scars, his left eye had been damaged by debris and then taken by the stigma, and what little of his body had survived the blast unscathed was left covered in stigma.

What Tseng wanted to say to Rufus was, “I wish I could be there to help with your recovery.”

Instead, he said nothing. Leaving Rufus’ question of ‘Nibelheim?’ unanswered.

As he tried to sleep, he thought of Rufus, of the way they were before Sephiroth sent the entire planet into a tailspin. He thought of Rufus’ lips, so soft against his own, strands of silky blonde hair clasped in his fingers, warm bodies tangled together. He stroked himself to release at the thought and then he fell against his sleeping bag with a chest-racking sob.

The following morning, the storm had passed. Tseng unzipped his tent and faltered at the sight of a familiar man and a… _creature_ seated around a campfire a few feet away. The creature, Tseng recognized as one of Hojo’s old experiements, a specimen from Cosmo Canyon who had gone on to assist Cloud and his unusual crew in the fight against Sephiroth. The man beside him was Vincent Valentine, a former Turk who had also been part Cloud’s group. Vincent, along with the obnoxious teenager from Wutai, had assisted Tseng and the other Turks in the evacuation of Midgar during Meteorfall. Much more recently, Vincent had saved Tseng and Elena’s lives when they had been left for dead by the remnants in the Forgotten City.

“Ah, so you do live,” the creature greeted him. “We were just placing bets on it.”

Vincent snorted and stoked the fire with a piece of a tree branch.

“What are you doing here?” Tseng asked.

“Traveling,” Vincent answered cryptically.

“Traveling,” Tseng repeated.

“Do you have any food?” Vincent asked.

Tseng stared at him. The situation was so bizarre that he was certain he must be dreaming. He had never been able to uncover as much information about Vincent as he would have liked, but what he did know is that Hojo had experimented on him many decades prior and as a result he seemed not to have aged a day since. Reno said he must be a vampire. Rude and Elena only agreed he might actually be immortal.

“I have a bit,” Tseng answered.

“Good, because he eats raw meat and I don’t eat at all so you’re on your own in that department.”

“You do remember us, don’t you?”

“If he doesn’t remember me, I’m going to be angry,” Vincent chimed in.

Tseng climbed fully out of his tent and sat down by the fire with a sigh, still feeling as though he weren’t fully awake. “Yes, I remember you.”

“I’m Nanaki,” the creature reminded him, for which he was thankful. “This is Vincent.”

“Vincent saved my life. Besides, I would never forget a fellow Turk,” said Tseng, meeting Vincent’s gaze.

Vincent stared at him, his eyes blood red. “Haven’t been a Turk for a long time.”

“You know what they say,” Tseng offered, pulling some food from his pack and chewing on it slowly. “A Turk only stops being a Turk when he’s dead.”

“That’s because Shinra kills most of them,” Vincent laughed. “What about you? I don’t see you wearing a suit.”

“I’m on leave.”

“Hm,” Vincent grunted. “Guess the kid’s not quite like his old man.”

Tseng bristled at this and said nothing, which caused Vincent and Nanaki to exchange a pointed look.

“What are the two of you doing here anyway? How did you find me?”

“I told you,” Vincent growled. “We’re traveling. Saw the tent. Peeked inside. Saw a Turk. Decided to stick around and see what you were doing out here in the middle of nowhere.”

“I’m also traveling.”

Nanaki stretched and rose to his feet. “I’m going to go hunt. Shall I meet you back here or will I catch up to you elsewhere?” He asked Vincent.

Vincent stared at Tseng for several unnerving seconds before turning his gaze to Nanaki. “I’ll be here.”

Nanaki nodded and bounded off into the forest.

Tseng and Vincent sat for several minutes in a stiff silence while Tseng finished his breakfast. It seemed like more than pure coincidence that Vincent and Nanaki should find Tseng out here in the middle of the wilderness. He wasn’t sure whether he believed in fate or not, but he did know for a fact that Aerith’s spirit was still active within the lifestream. Had she sent them his way? If anyone could convene with the lifestream it would be two of Hojo’s lab experiments.

He shook his head. It was a silly thought.

“Do you have a cell phone?” Vincent asked.

Tseng blinked at him. “Of course I do.”

Vincent pulled his own phone from his pocket. “Marlene showed me how to use it. You remember her?”

“Of course.” Barret’s daughter. The one Tseng had kidnapped for Shinra as blackmail to keep Reeve’s little spy robot at Avalanche’s side. One sin among many that Tseng had to atone for.

“So, Turk,” Vincent said, “Why are you out here in the middle of nowhere? Looking for yourself? Cloud patched things up in Edge. Reeve’s running the big show now.” He smirked, “Though rumor has it someone with a big wallet is funding him. I guess the world doesn’t have any need for Shinra or the Turks now, does it?”

“It hasn’t for some time.”

“That might be true for someone who doesn’t know any better. I’ve got a cell phone now,” Vincent said. “Tifa keeps me in the loop.”

Tseng sighed. “Do you care to get to the point?”

Vincent let out a gruff bark of laughter that startled Tseng. “Rich of a Turk to ask me to get to the point.” When Tseng fixed him with a frown he shook his head. “I thought you were the patient one. Mr. Ice, that’s what Yuffie called you.”

“Yuffie was the loudmouthed teenager with the shuriken?” Tseng asked.

“That’s right. She leaves an impression, doesn’t she? But that’s not the point. Tifa said Cloud’s helping Rufus Shinra because the Turks are on ‘extended leave’.”

“She shouldn’t be spreading that around,” Tseng protested.

“She’s not spreading it around. I texted her last night when we found you sleeping here. She said your friends stopped by last week. The bald one and the redhead.”

Rude and Reno. So they were still in Edge?

“We know, even if the rest of the world doesn’t, that Rufus Shinra’s undoing a lot of the damage his father did. Isn’t he?”

Tseng didn’t want to talk about Rufus. “I suppose he must be.”

Vincent pursed his lips. “No need to be coy. It doesn’t really matter to me anyway. Just seems funny that we’d run into each other in this huge forest. Where were you headed?”

“Nibelheim.”

At his, Vincent’s posture stiffened. “Why Nibelheim?”

“I have to pass through to get to Rocket Town.”

“And what interest do you have in Rocket Town?” Vincent raised his eyebrows.

“I know that Cid Highwind has a solar-powered airship. I’d like to book passage to Wutai.”

Vincent observed him thoughtfully. “And are you on any sort of timeline?”

Tseng considered the question. Rufus’ request had been to take as much time as he needed, and it was growing increasingly apparent that ‘as much time as he needed’ might be much longer than he had hoped. “No. Why?”

“Wouldn’t mind a little company. Nanaki wanders off on his own a lot.”

“I’m not much company,” Tseng said.

“Good. I hate loudmouths. It’s your choice of course.” He rose to his feet. “You can let me know your answer when I get back.” He disappeared in a wisp of red smoke and Tseng found himself staring at the spot he had previously occupied in disbelief.

All in all, it was a very strange morning.

While Vincent and Nanaki were gone, Tseng thought on their conversation for some time. He was in no rush to get to Nibelheim, not least of all because of all the terrible atrocities he knew had occurred there at Shinra’s hands…at the Turks’ hands too. Vincent was a mysterious figure, but Tseng felt he could probably do with the company of someone who understood what it meant to be a Turk, who understood the enormous burden he shouldered every day of his life, even now that Shinra was a shell of its former self.

He packed away his tent while he waited and found a sign waiting for him, if he believed in such things. Flattened beneath the canvas of his tent was a solitary yellow lily growing up out of the earth. He knelt down and plucked the flower as delicately as he could, attempting to straighten the smashed petals - it was identical to the flowers Aerith grew in her church.

“These could grow anywhere,” he said, staring at the pitiful looking flower with a frown. He sat down by the dying fire and held the flower in his palm. “Are you trying to tell me something?”

Of course, the flower couldn’t talk, nor could Tseng convene with the lifestream. Still, it did seem odd that there wasn’t another lily in sight. Tseng had never been spiritual exactly, but he had felt Aerith’s presence definitively when the rain came, had felt a surge of relief as it washed away Rufus’ geostigma. Her rain hadn’t singled Rufus out of course, so it was both foolish and selfish of Tseng to think it had been for him or that this lily was anything more than a flower he had trampled by accident.

He closed his eyes and thought of the last time he saw her, leaning over his body, his torso mangled, torn open, covered in blood. Her hands were stained with it as she held his arm and cried. She had mourned him. She never lived to see that he survived and by the time he awoke, she was gone at Sephiroth’s hand.

“Stubborn as always, I see.”

He heard her, but when he opened her eyes she wasn’t there.

_That’s because she’s dead. Don’t be foolish._

He stared more intently at the flower. “Did you send them to me?”

“Are you talking to that flower?”

Tseng nearly jumped out of his skin at Vincent’s sudden reappearance. He tucked the flower into his pocket and shook his head. “Just dredging up old memories.”

“Hm,” Vincent grunted. “We all hear from her sometimes. So? Are you coming or not?”

If it wasn’t a sign, it sure as hell seemed like one. “At least for a little while.”

Vincent shrugged. “Don’t worry. I won’t make you sign a contract.”

So Tseng deviated from his path toward Wutai to instead spend some time wandering the countryside with Vincent the improbably immortal Turk and Nanaki the seemingly equally ageless wolf, though he quickly corrected Tseng that he was not a wolf at all. It was a strange deviation, but Vincent, as reserved as he could be, kept Tseng’s mind off of Rufus. At the end of the day, that was all he really needed for now.

Nanaki disappeared for days at a time leaving Tseng and Vincent traveling alone together frequently. Vincent was good company in that they could share a companionable silence without needing to fill the space between them with noise, and although Vincent didn’t need to eat (or sleep, it seemed) he helped Tseng find food when they spent weeks away from civilization. At night, they would sit around the fire and converse quietly about anything but Shinra. Vincent must have known, perhaps better than anyone else on the planet, how sensitive a subject it was for a Turk.

Some nights, they did talk about Shinra though. Not often, and always at Tseng’s lead.

“Vincent?” Tseng asked several weeks into his stay.

“Hm?” Vincent didn’t look up from the fire.

“You know what it means to be a Turk.”

“Yes.”

“Do you think we can ever atone for that?” At this, Vincent met Tseng’s gaze with an inscrutable expression. “I gave the order for the plate collapse. I brought Aerith in to Shinra. Reno, Rude, and I have more blood on our hands than any other Turks.”

“Did you give the order?” Vincent raised his eyebrows, “Or did your superior?”

“What does it matter?”

“Well, we both know what would have happened if you refused. Seems to me you’ve been doing a lot to atone ever since. Why did you stay with Rufus Shinra if not to help repair the mess his family made?”

Tseng had never really discussed his relationship with Rufus with anyone else. He hadn’t even _really_ discussed it with Rufus. Reno and Rude and Elena weren’t naive about the nature of their relationship, but neither did they pry.

“I stayed with Rufus…because I felt guilty. There are many things only Shinra can achieve, even still. Rufus is nothing like his father.” Tseng stared intently at the fire, the flames dancing in the cool night air. “He wanted to atone too.” He let out a long, slow sigh. “But then he got sick.”

Vincent nodded. “The stigma.”

“My life became about saving him. We were helping others, of course, but…it wasn’t what mattered to me.”

“No time to atone for your own sins. Is that it?” Vincent asked.

“Something like that. I crossed a line with Rufus that I never should have crossed…never imagined I _would_ cross. It consumed me.”

Vincent stared at him. “Your relationship was…more than professional.” Tseng nodded. “I understand. They train us to be cold-blooded killing machines for them, but we’re still human when it’s all said and done. Well,” he laughed humorlessly, “I don’t know if I am anymore. But you are. Emotions get in the way whether we think we can control them or not.”

Several seconds of silence passed before Vincent spoke again.

“So what are you doing here if you care for Rufus Shinra? He’s healed now, isn’t he?”

A rage burned in Tseng’s belly at the thought. He missed Rufus terribly, but more and more often now he was _angry_ at having been sent away. He still didn’t know if he wanted to be with Rufus or if he just needed the comfort of familiarity, but shouldn’t it have been on his own terms? No, because he never would have made the call to leave and Rufus knew it. Even if it tore him apart and killed him, Tseng would have stayed by Rufus’ side for as long as he asked it of him.

It was a kindness, forcing him to leave, whether Tseng could come to terms with that or not. Rufus was setting him free.

‘Go find yourself. Come back to me without your shackles on.’

“He asked me to leave. He wanted to know it was real,” Tseng answered.

To Tseng’s surprise, Vincent’s lips twitched into a smile. “You know, for a Turk, you’re kind of stupid.”

“ _Excuse me?_ ”

“Seems to me that Rufus Shinra’s not as keen on power imbalances as his old man. Haven’t you ever heard the expression, ‘if you love someone, set them free’?”

Tseng didn’t respond, but it occurred to him that Vincent was right. When he climbed into his tent later that night, he pulled his phone out and texted Rufus,

“Ran into an old friend. Going off the grid for a while. I miss you.”

And then he shut off his phone.

Weeks turned to months without Tseng particularly noticing or caring. Some days were spent in comfortable country inns, others in a sleeping bag beneath his ever-deteriorating tent. Tseng still ached for Rufus, still missed him dearly, but as he learned to survive in such a drastically different environment, he started to realize it was a longing of desire…not of necessity. He could survive without Rufus - in fact, he was doing just that - with increasing ease.

He picked up woodworking during a prolonged stay in a village east of the Nibel mountains where a local carpenter offered classes. Tseng had spent most of his life using his hands to injure and kill - it filled him with a sense of pride and accomplishment to find he could use his hands to create, and that he enjoyed doing so. During their treks through the wilderness, he took to whittling little figurines out of extra logs from the pile of firewood. He carved a fox for Reno, a bear for Rude, and a lioness for Elena.

It took him longer to decide on what to make for Rufus.

So much time spent in the wilderness had changed Tseng’s appearance. He had always been lean and muscular thanks to his profession, but his shoulders and arms were more pronounced now. At some point he had decided to shave away part of his hair to lighten the load on his neck, leaving him with a neatly trimmed undercut frequently on display as the rest of his hair sat against the base of his skull in a bun. And while he maintained the shave on his head, he had let the stubble grow in on his face. He came to terms long ago with the fact that he would never be able to grow a thick beard, but he thought the stubble suited him nicely, and considering how long it had taken just to grow that, he wasn’t eager to shave it off.

Without Tseng ever realizing it, Vincent had been leading them straight to Nibelheim during their months-long journey around the western continent. Before he set out from Edge, Tseng imagined a few weeks or a month lasting a lifetime without Rufus, but by the time they reached Nibelheim, six months had passed and a part of him felt healed. He wanted to return to Rufus when his journey was over, if Rufus would still have him, but he would not be doing so as a Turk.

“I won’t be going into town with you,” Vincent told him as they stood at the edge of a field separating the forest from the little village nestled against the mountains. “I have no interest in returning to that place.”

“I understand,” Tseng said.

“You said you only needed to pass through here to get to Rocket Town, but I thought perhaps there was more to the story.” He fixed Tseng with a penetrating gaze. “Cid will be here in a few hours with his airship. I called in a favor. He’ll take you to Wutai. But if there’s some business you have in Nibelheim…” he trailed off.

“I appreciate it.” Vincent was perceptive to a degree that frequently unsettled Tseng, but he had grown more accustomed to it over time. “I won’t be long.”

“I’ll be waiting.” Vincent waved him off.

The last time Tseng had been to Nibelheim was to escort Rufus’ half brother there in an effort to find his mother, and even then, he had spent limited time in the town. The people who lived there deserved something better than acting out a play for Shinra, but after Meteorfall, it didn’t seem they were all that worried about Shinra anymore.

A few weeks in to his leave, Tseng realized what a relief it was to enter a town without his suit on. No one turned to stare at him or whisper behind his back. He could be anonymous without his uniform: just a man visiting a quiet country town to enjoy the view and explore the supposedly haunted mansion at the northern edge of the village. He passed through unrecognized.

The manor was in worse disrepair than it had been the last time Tseng visited it, nearly a decade earlier. It was the site of one of his biggest mistakes, second only to the sector seven plate drop. Despite his misgivings, he had helped Hojo and his fellow Turks carry Zack, _his friend_ , into the lab beneath the mansion. He thought Zack was dead, or rather…he had desperately hoped Zack was dead.

There was nothing to be frightened of within the manor anymore besides dust and spiders. The staircase leading into the basement was crumbling, and Tseng questioned whether or not it would hold his weight, but he managed to make it all the way down, lighting a flame with his materia and creeping along the corridor toward the lab.

It was an unholy place. Whatever he had felt when Aerith sent her healing rain, he felt the complete opposite of that now. It was a relief that Hojo was dead, as was Sephiroth, and that Jenova had been eradicated from the lifestream. So many atrocities had been committed in this basement and all of them had culminated in the near destruction of all life on Gaia.

The hallway terminated in a rounded chamber where the long forgotten remnants of two mako vats sat against the wall, the glass shells shattered. The mako had long since seeped back into the earth. Tseng knew these were the test chambers where Zack and Cloud had been held for years while Hojo performed experiments on them.

Years of their lives lost to Shinra. Zack had been his friend and it was because of Tseng’s willful ignorance that he had suffered and died at Shinra’s hands.

Tseng knelt in front of the chambers on the dirt-covered floor and ran his hand against the unbroken side of the glass.

“I’m sorry, Zack. I hope you’re at peace now. I hope you and Aerith…” His voice caught in his throat.

He pulled a book from inside his pack and opened it to where he had carefully pressed Aerith’s lily between the pages. He set it at the base of the test chamber and allowed himself the catharsis of crying for a few minutes. It would never make up for what he allowed to happen, but it could help him heal from it.

When he was done saying his goodbyes, finally, after so much time, he left the manor and set fire to the molded rug in the foyer with his materia. Settled against the mountain, the manor was far enough away from town that it would pose no threat to the people there. He wanted to see it go up in smoke: for Zack, for Vincent, for Veld, and even for Cloud. All of them had suffered there under Hojo’s supervision.

Tseng found Vincent awaiting him at the edge of the forest south of the village. By then, the smoke and flames could be seen even from afar.

“You do that?” Vincent asked by way of greeting.

“Yes.”

“Good.”

Cid arrived an hour later in a modest-sized airship - nothing like the one he had flown into Edge during the entire affair with the remnants, but impressive nonetheless. Tseng had met Cid a few times before the crisis with Sephiroth. He was a Shinra pilot many years before and Tseng recalled he was an abrasive loudmouth. Meeting him again after so many years, he found that little had changed.

“Heard you two needed a lift,” Cid said, stepping down out of the airship to greet them.

“Just Tseng,” Vincent corrected. “I have no need to visit Wutai.”

“You sure about that?” Cid elbowed Vincent in the ribs and Vincent faltered. “Bet the little squirt misses you. _Not_ that she’d ever say as much.”

“Yuffie texts me periodically.”

“Right,” Cid laughed. “You and your fancy cell phone. You seen it?” He turned to Tseng. “Damn flip phone. You act like you’re older than dirt, Vin.”

“I am,” Vincent replied without missing a beat.

“Uh-huh.” Cid pulled a cigarette from a pack in the breast pocket of his t-shirt and lit it up. “You sure I can’t interest you in a spin? We oughta catch up.”

Vincent smiled. “I’ll catch up with you later. Send my regards to Shera.”

“Vincent,” Tseng turned to him before he could disappear, as he had a tendency to do. “I want to thank you.”

“It was nothing,” said Vincent with a shrug. “Turks look out for each other, don’t they?”

“I’m not a Turk anymore,” Tseng said.

“Well,” Vincent laughed. “You know what they say.”

Tseng smiled in return. He clapped his hand against Vincent’s shoulder. “Stay in touch. You have my number.”

Vincent nodded, acknowledged Cid with a bow of the head, and disappeared in a wisp of smoke.

“Creeps me out when he does that.” Cid shivered. “Come on now. Let’s get going. Sooner I get you to Wutai, sooner I can skeedaddle before Yuffie realizes I’m there and tries to nick all of my materia…”

The flight to Wutai was shorter than Tseng anticipated. Cid grumbled at length about anything and everything, but perked up when Tseng asked about the solar-powered ship and how it compared to mako power. Cid, like much of the rest of Gaia, was impressed by the capacity and eager to have an alternate source of energy.

Wutai was far more beautiful than any pictures could do justice: lush green jungles, sprawling plains, snow-capped mountains, villages with ancient towering pagodas dotting the hillsides. Until that moment, Tseng had only experienced Wutai through his father, and through Shinra’s propaganda. It was something else entirely to see it with his own eyes.

Cid dropped him off just outside of the capital city and Tseng had barely enough time to thank him before he was back in the air. Parts of the capital were in disrepair after the lifestream displaced huge portions of the earth, but the restoration efforts were well underway. Tseng booked a room at the hotel, which was a bit kitschy and clearly aimed at tourists, and was greeted by the receptionist in Wutaian. Although fluent, he hadn’t used any Wutaian in over a year and he found he was a little rusty and clumsy with the language as he responded.

When he got to his room, Tseng turned his phone back on for the first time in months.

It took several seconds for all of the messages he had missed to come in.

The first three were from Reno: “Hey hope you’re not dead. Swing by Edge and grab a drink with me and Rude if you aren’t. We got an apartment near the city center.” “Hello? Tseng? Come on.” “Seriously man could you just respond so I know you’re not dead? By the way Rude told me not to tell you but since we’re not technically working for you right now we’re totally fucking. You can’t say anything because I know you were boning the boss.”

This was not news to Tseng, though he found it amusing that Reno finally admitted it.

The next text was from Rude. “Sorry about Reno. We miss you. Hope you’re okay.”

Two more texts were from Elena. “Are you ever coming back? You can’t leave Reno in charge.” and “If you don’t come back soon I’m going to kill Reno. P.S. We miss you. Don’t tell them I said that.”

Finally, there was a solitary text from Rufus.

“Thinking of you. I miss you.”

Tseng spent the next several weeks in Wutai. He met with Godo Kisaragi a week into his stay and they talked at length about Shinra and his concerns for the future. Despite being disconnected from Shinra for more than six months, Tseng was confident in his assurances that Rufus’ only plans for Wutai would be to provide aid if needed. During the days, he honed his woodworking skills by assisting with the restoration. He also explored the countryside and smaller villages when he wasn’t being followed and harassed by Godo’s daughter Yuffie. It was only when he threatened to text Vincent to tell him about Yuffie’s behavior that she backed off and admitted she appreciated Tseng’s help with the restoration.

She still made fun of his rusty Wutaian and his ‘accent’ though.

In his limited spare time he finally decided on a gift for Rufus. He found a solid piece of chestnut wood and began the slow work of carving out a cane. He whittled the handle into the shape of a dog, more specifically a Shinra guard hound. Rufus hand-raised a guard hound runt from a puppy and she had been by his side until the moment she died, killed in the blast from the Weapon. He knew Rufus would appreciate the sentiment of her likeness carved into the handle of his cane.

“Whatcha makin'?” Yuffie asked as he sat by the river working on the cane one day. She was curious to a fault. Six months earlier, it would have driven Tseng mad, but now he didn’t mind it all that much. The last six months had mellowed him considerably.

“A cane,” Tseng answered.

“Who for?”

“A friend.”

Yuffie squatted down next to him and observed the carving. “Why so cryptic?”

“It’s for Rufus Shinra.”

She screwed up her face, but tried to temper her reaction when Tseng furrowed his brow. “Well, it’s nice,” she offered. “I’m sure he’ll like it.” She was silent for a moment while she watched Tseng work. “You think you could make me something like that, but small?”

“What would you like, Yuffie?”

“A little bat,” she said, lacing her thumbs together and flapping her hands. “Reminds me of Vincent. He’s like my cool uncle, you know? I miss him. It’s cool you got to spend some time with him.”

“’Cool’,” Tseng said in Wutaian, laughing.

“Your accent is _so_ funny.”

“I guess you and your group of friends are sort of like a family, even though you’re far apart now, aren’t you?” Tseng asked.

Yuffie put on a thoughtful face, which seemed to take a lot of effort. “I guess you’re right. Tifa’s like an older sister…she annoys me sometimes, but she looks out for me. Cid and Vincent are like my uncles…Reeve too, you know? Barret’s like a dad…except my real dad’s scarier sometimes. Cloud’s like…hm…kind of like a real serious older brother. Red…I mean…Nanaki, he’s my friend. We were both kind of kids when it all started.” Tseng chuckled at this, Yuffie was still a kid in his eyes.

After a moment, Yuffie added,

“Do Turks have families or is it true they have to give everything up? I asked Vincent once, but he wouldn’t tell me.”

It was then that Tseng fully realized _why_ he missed Rufus, Reno, Rude, and Elena so much that it hurt some days. They _were_ his family. They had become his family when the five of them decided to work together to fix the mess Shinra had made.

“Not every Turk,” he answered Yuffie’s question. “But I have a family.”

Tseng took a break from making the cane later that week to carve a palm-sized bat for Yuffie and she accepted it with praise, embracing Tseng in a hug and nearly choking the life out of him in the process.

He finished the cane the next week and then he knew it was time for him to return home. He missed his family.

Calling in a favor with Cid once more, he managed to convince him to fly him back to Edge for a small fee. Tseng was not hurting for gil - Rufus made sure none of the Turks would ever have to worry about money again, whether they stayed with him or not. He referred to the payout as their retirement fund. It was an absurd amount of gil, but barely a fraction of Rufus’ fortune.

As ugly a city as it was in comparison to the former opulence of Midgar, Edge was a sight for sore eyes when it came into view along the horizon. Tseng’s first order of business was to drop in on Reno and Rude. He texted Elena a few hours out from Edge to let her know he was indeed alive and would be returning to Edge that evening, but he didn’t trust Reno to keep a secret, so he asked her to keep it to herself.

Her response had been a single exclamation point. A few hours later, she told him to meet them at Tifa’s bar, the new and improved Seventh Heaven.

Tseng stepped into the dimly lit interior of the bar just past six in the evening. Tifa stood behind the bar conversing with Reno, Rude, and Elena, whose backs were to the door. None of them wore their uniforms. Tifa looked up at the sound of the bell jangling on the door and greeted Tseng with a warm smile. Tseng knew little about Tifa except that everyone who knew her spoke highly of her, including Aerith.

“Almost didn’t recognize you, Mr. Ice,” she said.

Having been called Mr. Ice by Yuffie for the past several weeks, Tseng couldn’t help but laugh at this. Reno turned to see who Tifa was addressing and nearly fell on his face as he scrambled out of his chair.

“ _Tseng!?_ ” He skidded to a halt just short of greeting him with a hug.

“You can hug me, Reno.”

There wasn’t a second of hesitation once he had Tseng’s approval. He gripped Tseng in a bone-crushing hug, slapping his back several times.

“Ah, man, we missed you. I really thought you might be dead.”

“I’ve had enough near-death experiences for now,” Tseng said.

By now Rude and Elena were out of their chairs and waiting their turn for hugs. Tseng allowed it, though he was still a little stiff and awkward with the gesture.

“It’s good to see you, chief,” Rude nodded.

“I’m not chief anymore,” Tseng corrected.

The three of them exchanged a glance and Reno shook his head. “Sorry, man, you’re always gonna be chief in our books. Just like Rufus’ll always be ‘boss’. Just how it is.”

“You look so rugged,” Elena commented. “Never imagined you with a beard.”

“Is that what this is?” Reno asked, smacking Tseng’s cheek lightly with the back of his hand. “Could have fooled me.”

“ _Alright,_ ” Tseng grumbled. “And here I thought I missed you.”

“You gonna stay for a drink?” Rude asked.

“No. I need to speak with Rufus. But I wanted to stop by and give you some gifts I made for you.”

Reno clapped his hands together excitedly. “Gifts, huh? Lemmee see!”

Elena rolled her eyes at this. The three of them waited, some more patiently than others, while Tseng unslung his pack from his back and withdrew the carved figurines.

“You made these?” Elena balked.

“Yes.”

“Thanks, chief.”

“You think this looks like me?” Reno asked, holding the fox up next to his face.

“No,” Rude replied flatly. “The fox is cuter than you are.”

“ _Excuse me!?_ ”

They broke into a squabble and Elena pulled Tseng to the side, cradling her little lioness against her chest. She pressed a piece of paper into Tseng’s palm. “You can find the boss here if you want to go see him. He’ll probably be home resting right now. He has his physical therapy sessions at five most days.”

“Did you tell him I was coming back?” Tseng asked.

“No. I figured you might want to surprise him.”

He squeezed her shoulder. “Thank you, Elena.”

She smiled. “Thanks for the gifts, chief. We better see more of you now that you’re back.”

“You will. I promise.”

Tseng said his goodbyes and left the three of them to make his way across town to a towering apartment building near the center of the city. Surprising Rufus Shinra was easier said than done. His building unsurprisingly had a tight security detail, but it was Cloud Strife who noticed him as he stepped out of the elevator into the lobby while Tseng was patiently explaining who he was to an unimpressed and disbelieving security officer.

“He’s fine,” Cloud said, meeting Tseng’s gaze only momentarily. “I can vouch for him.”

“O-oh, of course, Mr. Strife. Sorry, sir, right this way.”

Tseng bowed his head in thanks and Cloud walked away without a word.

Rufus’ lived in the penthouse apartment, twenty stories up. It was a far cry from Shinra Tower, but then again, Tseng imagined Rufus probably had no interest in living like that ever again after everything he had been through. Tseng reached the apartment and, clutching Rufus’ cane in his hand, his heart pounding in his ears, he rapped his knuckles against the door.

What if, after all of this time, Rufus had decided _he_ didn’t want or need Tseng? Tseng spent so much time worried about his own feelings that he hadn’t considered Rufus’ might change. Maybe this had been a mistake. Six months was a long time, and absence didn’t _always_ make the heart grow fonder.

“Just a minute,” the sound of Rufus’ voice after so long apart made Tseng’s heart swell. “Did you forget something Clou-” The door opened and Rufus stopped mid-sentence, staring at Tseng with his mouth hanging open. He had visibly recovered some of his strength and vigor in the last six months, a bit of lean muscle now clinging to his bones, a false eye in place where his left eye had been taken by the stigma.

“When…when did you…?” Tseng had never in his life seen Rufus Shinra lost for words.

“I just got in. I…this is for you.” He held out the cane awkwardly. Rufus took it gingerly in his hand, dropping the cane he held and testing the new one, running his palm over the carved figure of Dark Nation’s head. “It’s D,” Tseng added unnecessarily.

Rufus’ eyes welled with tears. “Did you make this?”

“Yes.”

“Can I hug you?”

Tseng laughed, blinking away tears. “Not if you have to ask.”

Rufus wrapped his arms around Tseng’s neck and held him in a tight embrace, pressing his face into Tseng’s shoulder and inhaling against him. “Gods, I missed you, Tseng.”

Tseng clutched at Rufus' back and nuzzled against the top of his head. He thought often of how it might feel to see Rufus again, but he never imagined it might be as satisfying as this. A part of him had been missing this entire time and now he felt whole again.

“Rufus,” he said softly. “You asked me before I left if I loved you. I couldn’t answer you then. You were right. I didn’t know if it was really love or just…complacency.”

Rufus peeled himself away from Tseng’s shoulder and held his gaze. He was so beautiful, even after all that the blast and the stigma had done to his body. Tseng cupped his cheek with his hand and brushed his thumb lightly against his skin.

“I know now. I love you. I came back because I _wanted_ to be with you, not because I needed to.”

To his surprise, Rufus laughed. “Do you know, I was worried you wouldn’t come back at all?”

“It was like you said,” Tseng said. “I just needed some time.”

Rufus pressed his lips against Tseng’s and they held each other like that for several seconds, still standing in the doorway. When Rufus broke away, he chuckled and said, “I’ll have to get used to that scratchy stubble.”

“You had better! It took me this whole time to grow it this much.” Tseng told him.

He smiled and curled his fingers around Tseng’s leading him inside the apartment.

“Now come in. Tell me what you’ve been up to this whole time. I want to hear everything.”

That night, Tseng and Rufus slept together for the first time in a very long time, longer than the six months they had been apart. Rufus had been too weak and Tseng too exhausted to even consider it for months prior to his departure. There was a tangible emotion between them as they held each other’s gaze and when they were finished, they lay with their bodies pressed together, skin against skin, awash in post-coital bliss.

As Rufus’ eyes fluttered shut, he brushed his fingers against Tseng’s stubble, his lips twitching into a smile.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you too.”

And Tseng knew it would be true until they both breathed their last breath.

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to know that your love  
> Is a love I can be sure of  
> So tell me now and I won't ask again  
> Will you still love me tomorrow?
> 
> I've been thinking about this idea for a while so I finally wrote it. I think Rufus and the Turks deserve a happy ending, but more than anything I think Tseng deserves to heal from everything he's been through. So this was my attempt at that. Thank you for reading!


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